Why is the Kitchen Table Defeating Me?

One of the things that was a recurring issue -- for years -- was the kitchen table. Often the entire surface was covered, one end with mostly tidy piles of books and papers, and the other end hidden by a more chaotic mix of unopened mail and unhomed items that might be more appropriately stored in the garage or at work. In the center was sometimes an island of sanity occupied by an arrangement of cut flowers.

I managed to live with this state of disorder and ugliness by telling myself a compelling tale of fear and overwhelm. First, there was too much stuff on the table to deal with.The act of going through all of it to create order would take too long. So why start down that road to exhaustion?

Second, I was afraid I would lose something if I could not see it. For some reason, I have always struggled with rote memorization. This has caused me no end of anxiety when trying to find things in my file cabinet. Did I put my personal property tax receipts in the tax folder, the receipts folder, or the car folder? I could agonize over how to file something so I could find it again -- and still not be able to find it. Later. It was easy to remember that tax documents were in a pile on a specific corner of the table. Again, why go through the effort of making life more difficult?

The third part of my story was related to losing things I could not see. I was afraid I would forget to take action on paying bills, completing forms, or otherwise responding to correspondence if I could not see it. Where do you put the books you want to read so you will actually remember to read them? If you are tripping over them once in a while, they are easier to remember. Besides, there was some satisfaction in taking something off the book pile and making it smaller.

In total, these barriers were sufficient to keep the table in a near constant state. The only time it changed significantly was when we had people over for dinner or when I managed to lose something. Then the piles would either migrate -- ever so carefully, in order to preserve their exact position relative to each other -- to the bed or the trash.

With the help of my coach, I was able to put together a strategy for getting my kitchen table back again. I came up with some outcomes to replace the current state of the table. I decided I wanted to be free of clutter, I wanted to have everything where I could find it, and I wanted to take action on things such as licensing and insurance in a timely manner.

The next step was to dig for some reasons why I wanted those outcomes. If I achieved any of my outcomes, why would that matter? The most obvious benefit for me was that I would be able to feel so much better about myself when I looked at the table. That meant less beating myself up for not being able to be an organized adult. Another benefit would be the feelings of certainty and control I would feel in regard to the things I owned. Finally, I would have an increased level of confidence in my ability to get things done. If I could tackle the dark recesses of my paper towers, I could probably handle a lot more interesting challenges.

Armed with my outcomes and a sense of purpose, I needed a process for reaching my desired end state. I decided to take an incremental approach. Whatever system I came up with had to work if it took weeks to handle each book or piece of paper. It also had to function in a way that allowed new items coming into the house to be handled rather adding to the piles. Simplicity was another key factor in building my new system. If it was complicated, it would never allow me to find things or take action on them.

The solution was to buy two storage boxes. One box was for items that could be filed easily because I knew what to do with them. One box was for items that either had no home of their own or that needed future action. Anything that did not fit in one of those boxes was trash. On a weekly basis, I would plan to empty the box of misplaced items and return them to their proper locations. Then I would identify any items from the other box that require action in the upcoming week and take action on them.

It took fewer than two weeks to reduce the piles on the table to a few things that were being taken care of immediately. I was so excited to see the tablecloth again! The project was a success.

The story of the kitchen table does not end here, though. Stay tuned for some disappointment, a recovery, and an honest look at what it finally took to get the mess under control.